Guess Who Figured This Out?

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“This” being how to finally get a Korean IME installed on my computer without having to resort to using a Chrome extension. It only just now occurred to me to try the language settings in my computer. Why? Why? I should have thought of this ages ago!

Well, actually, I did. But I gave up way too soon, obviously.

I mean, look at this. 안영!! 대박이다!! It really is awesome. I am slowly working towards not hen pecking. It is becoming slightly more natural to remember that the all of the consonants are on the left side, while all the vowels are to the right. Also, by installing the proper IME, I do not have to switch between visual and HTML input on WordPress to enter in the Korean characters. Yay for another point to laziness.

And no, I have not been to bed yet. I was up all night waiting for a reply that never came from the IT Team about MyMathLab. Then at like 7 or so this morning, BigHit released that BTS will be doing a concert in May. And releasing another album. Then, Got7 also released their newest music video for, “Fly.” Which was fantastic. It had a couple odd scenes here and there, but I really loved the ones on the flight deck.

I did have the idea to go to Epcot possibly, but with this continued lack of sleep, and need to save every penny for either the concert DVD, or if they announce a world tour (which one do you think I want more?) – I chose to stay home instead. I do want to go out and get some more photography in that is not related to Disney. The continuous theme of the mouse everywhere, and in everything I show drives me a bit bonkers. I would like a bit of creative identity away from all that, you know?

I was reading all my old posts from this time last year. I am almost someone different now. It was almost as if I was reading something written by someone else. Not even me. But I know it was me, and I recognize myself in the writing. But… the despair, and pain… it hurts to remember that that was in fact me. Though I do not mention it lately, I am Bipolar. Apparently Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. That intense depression, while hallucinating on a near constant basis – it was a living nightmare. I have little blips here and there, but otherwise, I am too focused on my goals to allow what normally can drag me under the muck get a grasp on my ankles. Once again, that strangely intense will power of mine. Subconscious will power. Imagine what all I could accomplish if I had full control of those faculties.

It looks like I will be emailing my math professor about having to extend my quiz due date since I still cannot get onto the dang website.

Here is to hoping everyone is well, and having a good day.

 

 

Frustratedly Determined

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For the last two weeks or so, I have been taking Latuda. At first I had my reservations about it seeing as how it is generally used as a supplement with a mood stabilizer to treat Bipolar Depression but it seems to be working!

Lately, I have been braver; less anxious. I am not as prone to mood swings and my aspirations are high. However, so is my frustration.

My 23 birthday is in a 107 days and I am still living at home with no apparent move out date. Of course with this approaching, I can’t help but wonder if I will celebrate this year or not. When I try, it usually doesn’t go well. But who knows?

As of late I have been spending a lot of time outside of the house. A few times with a coworker and other times with the people I generally spend time with. Of course my camera went with me everywhere.

Next week is my last appointment with my current therapist and after she will be closing her practice for good. Then I must begin my search for a new therapist.

Also, I don’t feel talkative as of late. Blogging wise, that is. Socially I have been a lot better about not isolating myself as much.

I have my first shift in weeks on Sunday. Wish me luck

Posted from WordPress for Android. As much as I try to proof read, typos and grammatical errors will more than likely occur and I hope you can graciously forgive them and me.

Do You Know?

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The good feelings continue like a delicate sheer lining behind this limbo-ness of not feeling. But it is good feeling, so it is good rather than bad which I am extremely grateful for.

Does this sort of thing happen starting out on Seroquel?

My second appointment with my psychiatrist and his team is tomorrow morning. They said it would be a lot of testing and afterwards they would get me in to see the doctor when he was available.

I thought it was funny when they were explaining what would happen at this appointment using body language and syntax that expressed they thought I wouldn’t understand or agree with this.

“What do you mean I will have to wait for him to have a few free minutes? I am paying you all this money ($20 copay) to see him when he has a few free minutes?!”

Is that what they were expecting, do you think?

I probably shouldn’t say it was funny as they probably get violent or aggressive patients enough to warrant such a defensive position. Assumedly.

Maybe more like intriguing.

My personal position is if it helps me find out what I need to do to actually be able to live my life as I would very much dream to – then I am for it. Within reason obviously. No shock therapy today, please. TENS freakin’ hurt.

I am almost finished with the muslin/toile of my dress. I was actually working on it right before I decided to take another break and write this.

I may or may not have sewn the bodice right side to wrong side on the skirt. Fabulous, I know.

This post was drafted from mobile device and is more than likely riddled with typos and grammatical errors. Please forgive and forget folks. If it is not too much of a bother, that is.

Bolts and All

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If any of you are used to generally getting little to no sleep, you will understand what I’m going through this morning. I made the mistake of trying to force myself to get some sleep last night. That never ends well and I know this but that doesn’t stop me from being stubborn and trying.

Because Lord, the morning after is a horrific sight to be had. I feel nauseous, my arthritis is rating 14/10, and my vertigo makes me look more like a drunkard than usual.

But even before that, the fight to fall asleep is usually just as trying. My insomnia stems from my mind never wanting to quiet or wind down enough for me to fall asleep. The only way that usually works is counting backwards from 1,563 repeatedly.

But most nights that of course doesn’t work. I just toss and turn, ‘waking up’ every five minutes and the mini nightmares between each alarm is exponentially worse than normal, even for me.

Let’s just say today I feel like Frankenstein’s monster. Bolts, and all.

Drafted and posted using my Samsung Galaxy SIII. Please do forgive any typographical errors.