My Psychologist Gave Me A Homework Assignment

Standard

And I don’t think I can do this one.

“Lara, before I see you next week, I want you to involve yourself in some kind of group setting. Photography class, yoga, or Tai Chi. I don’t really care as long as it is something that gets you out of your house and with people.”

Well. All these things cost money. And frankly I am kinda terrified. I don’t do well in groups or social setting. I am not a social person.
What am I supposed to do?

On the money front, I am down to one bra that is two years old and cannot afford to get a new one. You can’t find 32C (or what I should be wearing a 30D) anywhere unless it is Victoria Secret and we all know how expensive they are.

So how am I to afford yoga classes? How can I justify paying for a membership any where for anything if I cannot even find room in my budget for something that is a necessity like a bra? I am paying to see all these doctors, all these medications plus the extreme price tag of gas and tolls to travel to these doctors.

I am at a crossroads and unsure of where to step next.

Work has been pretty iffy. Some days I am great, then other days where I crash and burn into raspberry jam on the freeway.

I am back to not sleeping again. The medications don’t even make me drowsy.

Just, I could really use some help and advice right now.

Someone Hand Me A Walker

Standard

I went for a run yesterday at the Lake May Preserve which is right by my house. That is the beauty of living in the woods – preserves and parks every where.
This particular preserve had trails that were roughly 1.93 miles total. Not much but rough terrain makes up for the lack. I did just short of three laps and my legs… Are not very happy with me. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I used to easily put in twenty miles a day when I was at Speedway and since transferring out my physical activity has been pretty sad.

The views were gorgeous and came across a family with two young children hiking. Whether you are in Florida, Alabama, Oregon or New York. Where ever the heck you choose – I believe that kindness is found in the country side. Southern (anywhere) hospitality. This family offered me a bottle of water and the little girl offered me a bite of her granola bar. I politely declined but it was such a sweet moment and really made my day.

When I came home I of course wrote about it in my journal and continued researching yoga while my thighs take a break. I spoke with my mother and she agreed to help sponsor this new endeavor for me as we both firmly believe that yoga has too many physical and mental health benefits for me to neglect. No time like the present, right?

With me, I tend to get excited about a new idea, activity or anything and then burn out fast. I am very aware of this tendency and am doing everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen this time. So I took to my journal and wrote what I hope to achieve by practicing yoga.

     • I would like yoga to become a source of mediation and relaxation. Where I can escape my anxieties and stressors.

     • Yoga, I believe, would be a great tool for working on my arthritis and flexibility. Due to the advance stage or my arthritis, my body has never been very flexible and well… I don’t like that and want to change that!

     • I have read that yoga has helped incur a sense of self confidence and strength that I desperately need.

     • However, I am not looking to become a super yogi like the ones I see on Instagram. Inversion-happy and Ashtanga pros. I am wanting to keep my goals realistic for the moment. Maybe after a fee months of being steady in practice can I begin to think about that.

     • I would be lying if I were to say I wasn’t hoping for muscle tone and becoming more fit. Just like anyone else I have glaring insecurities and perhaps yoga can help with that. Ran four miles yesterday and dying today. That isn’t right.

I want to focus on my back, shoulders, wrists, hips and knees. I am slightly worried about my wrist as I physically cannot try a push up without sending either out of commission for weak. Since there never was a surgery to repair the injuries from high school – they are in desperate need of strengthening and attention.

I did more research today and more than likely I will be getting a Gaiam mat just to start out with. It may be silly but a mat with a print in a bright teal if I can find it, would be perfect. Visuals inspire me and a solid mat would actually repel me as opposed to calling me to practice. Though there is a serious budget restriction and I am trying to make as an informed and balanced decision as possible.

Investigating mats, accessories and overall theories led me to my next contemplation.

Classes or a DVD?

While I acknowledge a class is a better choice, I must be realistic and know my limitations. Class settings terrify me. No matter my setting or surroundings I feel as I am being weighed and found wanting. If I set anything other than a perfect example I have failed.

Thus, I have decided some DVDs would be a good place to start until I can further my research into more classes locally and comfortable to join. I did find three that seemed to have good reviews and entailed what I was hoping for.
Wai Lana Yoga : Beginner’s Workout

” Beginners Workout is designed for beginners and for those who haven’t exercised for a while. It’s also good for those who want to take a break from their more strenuous workouts but still want to exercise. You’ll learn easy ways to:
* Loosen stiff joints
* Strengthen your abdominals
* Firm your buttocks 
* Calm and tone your nerves 

The last asana on the DVD is Yoga Nidra, a very effective way to achieve complete relaxation. The Beginners Workout contains 16 yoga techniques and is approximately 50 minutes in length. ”

Kundalini Yoga For Beginners and Beyond

“In a Ana & Ravi DVD you will: Get a full body workout. Learn the purpose of each exercise on every level: body, mind and spirit. Share in Ana & Ravi’s in-depth knowledge of physical anatomy and its metaphysical counterparts. Learn how to modify an exercise to minimize physical discomfort, maximize results. Be assured of Ana & Ravi’s personal concern for your well being. Receive modifications for each exercise so you can always participate, and participate in uplifting chants and meditations.”

Kundalini Yoga Ultimate Stretch Workout With Ana Brett and Ravi Singh

” Celebrated Yoga teachers Ravi Singh & Ana Brett have produced this (user-friendly, conveniently chaptered to fit any schedule) 60 minute Kundalini Yoga DVD to give you a complete workout and guide you towards your Ultimate Stretch! Ana & Ravi’s Kundalini Yoga DVD’s are an all-in-one yoga system. They are designed to bring balance to your mind, health, and emotions, and imbue your life with inspiration and fearlessness.”

Each of these are less than $20 before shipping and handling which is very important as mentioned previously – I don’t have monies, y’all.

Wednesday is the tentative date for Mom and I to head out and look at purchasing a mat and ordering the DVDs. Or maybe we will just order everything online. While I wait to see Karen, I will keep poking around about classes. Ideally a small studio and thus small class size would be preferred. We have plenty of big name gyms nearby that offer classes. The prices are however seriously inflated and impersonal. No go.

Anyone have suggestions for mats, studios in the central Lake country area, or DVDs?

This post was drafted from mobile device and is more than likely riddled with typos and grammatical errors. Please forgive and forget folks. If it is not too much of a bother, that is.