I sit in my school’s library, killing time, and charging my laptop in the meantime. While physically, I am not so hot with collapsing still occurring every once in a while, and my arthritis acting up – it feels like a good day.
Odd how that does not really add up does it?
I guess since it is just a quiet day, and I actually even managed to make it to class, and turn in my two papers, study for my test – I am just proud of the fact I am in school today. I did have essentially call out of my psychology lecture last night thanks to the collapsing, and I was strongly debating whether or not I needed to miss school today, as well. However, the fact that I did indeed have a rough draft of a paper due, an annotated bibliography for another, a rescheduled test for my business applications class, and a lecture class for my algebra… I kinda needed to be here. I fought tooth and nail for some kind of sleep last night. I was up until after three o’clock this morning trying to slip away. I tried everything in my arsenal. Old tricks, and new: Sudoku, music, abstract music such as rain storms, counting (forwards and backwards), reading, and in the end I just took a .25 mg of Xanax and counted upwards of 3,283 before I fell asleep.
It is getting to the point where I really need to file my nonexistent taxes since I did not have an income this past year, and I have no freaking idea how. I need my return, so I can file for the FAFSA. But once again, how the hell do you file nonexistent taxes?
As per my usual, when I am not on campus, you will find me at home. I will be either reading, listening to music, and that is pretty much it. I do not talk to anyone outside of a classmate, and maybe two friends on the rare occasion. But, I have been pondering why I am so content in these confines. While I am still not a big fan of being out and about by myself, I am totally fine just relaxing at home, or in the library as long as I have my music playing. Well, I am fine relaxing in the library as long as I have the aforementioned music, and I tucked away space away from everyone else. The long tables of computers are not my tea. But I did realize there are these lovely little love seats I can stretch out on, and plug in my laptop to charge as well. Which is bloody fantastic. As long as I do not do anything that requires too much mouse work – it is perfect. There is not enough patience in my soul for slowly, and awkwardly maneuvering via the touch pad. So, the touch screen feature of my ASUS serves me so well in this aspect. I even find myself constantly trying to use other desktops on campus as if they were touch screens as well. Especially when I am tutoring one of my classmates in algebra. Our emporium we log our math hours, and take our tests in have some fancy touch screen HP monitors that really help out in that aspect. The catch is, that this particular classmate cannot really grasp much of anything if I teach it to her in the lab. It only seems to work if I sit with her in the library, and go over it with her there. It is something I will need to look into, as she is still currently failing. Something about the lab seems to short circuit her.
Well, I feel like I am cutting this short – however I do need to head off, and go scrounge some food before my test in an hour. I have just enough to run to Chipotle in town, and get a chicken bowl to go. I may have a craving. Haha.
Randomly! I am doing my end of term research paper on OCPD – and it was brought to my attention that OCPD will also effect the entire dynamics of all the relationships in one’s life that is afflicted. There is the compulsion to be the dominant personality in every relationship, and yes that is entirely true in my case. From family, to friends, to significant others. I must always be on the upper hand, and usually am. I do not fare well with anyone thinking they can boss me around, or be in charge. Something to think on, huh?
Until next time. Be safe, and be well, everyone. 🙂