It is an emergency


I stabbed myself with a pencil today.

Not deep but.

I called the emergency line from my insurance.

I am spiraling out of control. Doing horrible things.

I only hurt and destroy everyone and everything I come in contact with.

They’re going to call me back with an appointment with someone, some where.

My mom isn’t answering her phone.

I’m in a dangerous place.

Someone posted to Instagram “a woman with a beautiful body is good for a night. A woman with a beautiful mind is good for a lifetime.”

What if you have neither? Not to even get started on my physical flaws, but my mind is rotted and disfigured.

I’m good for nothing.

This post was drafted and published using the WordPress App for Android on my Galaxy S4. There are more than likely spelling or grammatical errors I may have missed before posting. Please forgive them, this is just a personal blog.


7 thoughts on “It is an emergency

  1. A woman with a beautiful mind may be lovely but not very interesting.
    People of depth appreciate minds that have more than just beauty. A mind that has experienced the not so pretty places is better prepared to have empathy and understanding for the vast majority of the world that are not surrounded by beauty. (Which actually is everyone !)

  2. First off, your grammar and spelling and all was just right, so no worries. I hope you get into see someone soon. Do you have a safety plan? You should have a long list of people to call, not just your mom. Try and hang in there and do no more damage until you can reach out to someone and they reach back. You can always chat with me.

    • Thank you. Usually, in my normal more voluminous posts, I make so many errors and do not realize it til after I hit post and go back.

      I do not have many friends and not really people in my life or close to me that I can talk to. I was trying to get a hold of my mother to tell her she needed to come home so she could watch Lola (our sick rabbit) while I went to the appointment.

      Talking doesn’t helo. I don’t know why. It never has. I just get frustrated because I constantly feel like it is just a debate and me constantly defending my feelings and symptoms. I am wrong and they must convince me otherwise. Platitudes never make me feel better. Talking doesn’t solve the problem. Just stretches open the wounds.

      I hope this makes sense.

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