Let’s Start Off With This


Arthritis sucks. First and foremost. My knees and shoulder have been screaming for the last couple hours.

Things have been good, though! Not bad at all; considering. I have been doing my best to be positive and fight through the currents. Maybe this attitude is thanks to the medication combined with actually getting hours at work.

At work, it has been a bit of a struggle working a full day but I am getting better. The more I do it the easier it gets. There are times when I get out of balance and take things personally when I really shouldn’t but it is progress. The whispers are no where near as abundant and the paranoia is minimum. Every once in a while I have to pace and circle around or go to the stock room and sit with my back to the corner but it isn’t every hour like it used to be.

All this positive and happy feelings keep throwing me off. My naivete keeps me wondering if maybe I am in a manic phase or if the meds are actually working. The happy go lucky side of me is saying it must be the meds.

I worry about my friends.

One is being deployed to the desert in nine days.

One is severely depressed and in desperate need of hugs.

And another I just miss and worry about her because she is so far away.

Such delicate balances to be watched and taken care of.

I am still trying to decide what I am going to do for my birthday. It will probably be a small individual affair again but that’s okay. I will spend some time with my Aussie, early, since she leaves before the actual birthday. And then some time with my friend comes back from his deployment.

On another note, I went shopping today. I bought some dresses and a couple pairs of shoes. Maybe I will take some pictures before work and upload them this weekend.

As a close out. Everyone is already aware of the passing of Robin Williams.

Like all of you I grew up with him on my TV in my home. My mom called him a prince. There were two princes according to her. Steve Irwin and Robin Williams.

When the need broke she just rocked back and forth crying because “there aren’t any princes left.”

“They have all left.”

Robin Williams was a hero of mine. He made his illness work for him. Brought so much joy and happiness and all the right emotions to millions of people every day. The knowledge of his apparent suicide sent my positive thoughts down the drain.

“If he couldn’t do it, how can I?”

If he couldn’t be strong, how can I, weak as I am.

But as I always say – we can never fully comprehend another’s pain. So for that I now say, we all love you Robin. You were strength and light for me during times of darkness.

Thank you.


Posted from WordPress for Android. As much as I try to proof read, typos and grammatical errors will more than likely occur and I hope you can graciously forgive them and me.


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