I’m going to at least try

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I made a delicious dinner tonight. Pork chops with ranch mashed potatoes and a fall vegetable medley. I finished eating it a while ago and now I munch on some verg delicious air popped popcorn from Publix. The previews for a movie were playing in the background and it was vert random, but it made me remember just how little I have seen and done in this life.

Beautiful mountauns, rivers and even snow. I have never even seen snow!

Things are tough and I never seem to have a day where there isn’t something to stress about. I spend a lot of time feeling lonely and as if my life will never take off – but there is still so much time left. And you have to make that conscious choice to choose the brighter side of things. Which I try to do. It doesn’t always work but I try.

I have been worried about my friends lately. Even those I haven’t seen or spoken to in a very long time. Maia, Art, my mechanics. I wonder how they are and I hope they are all right.

I reach out every once in a while, “hey! Hope everything is going well!” And then I hear that things are well… not. And it makes me so very sad.  And I feel extremely guilty because I feel like there really isn’t much I can do. I don’t know what to do. I’m better at just listeningnto people’s pain rather than actually helping them solve and forget it. I mean, I never could get myself to do that. I just kind of stutter and become speechless. Conversation becomes awkward and stinted as I desperately try to find something to make everything better.

But I still want to do everything I can to help.

Drafted and posted using my Samsung Galaxy SIII. Please do forgive any typographical errors.

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