Always So Short Lived

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I went ahead and made the executive decision and broke up with my boyfriend. It was a short relationship of just over a month, and probably one I never should have entered at all. We just weren’t compatible at all.

As he took this blow to his ego, he of course felt he had to shoot back.

“I’m just worried since I noticed you don’t really have any friends.”

Thanks.

I never realized that.

You have opened my eyes, O Wise One.

The holidays are hard for me. As they are for a lot of people.  I just want to be able to move on and move out. Every year I tell myself, “next year will be different. I will be out and happy and ready to celebrate.” Then another tragedy happens,  money goes to recovering from that and not from me moving out.

I know if Michelle was magically able to move to the States, I would be out in two seconds. I could afford something if I could split it and she is the only person I would actually feel happy and okay living witg with. But more than likely I will end up moving into a dingy apartment by myself after going fulltime at a job I would hate here.

I’m a daydreamer. I keep praying and working towards my happy ending and pipe dream of a perfect life with lots of friends and loved ones. But as every year I grow older and see another season pass, I see myself settling into acceptance. Acceptance that happiness isn’t for all. Daydreams are all they are. You have to learn to be content with what you have or you will never be happy.

A prince on a horse to sweep me away from it all would still be nice. Or anyone. Or anything. Just… hey. Put my name on the Christmas Miracle wishlist,  kay?

Drafted and posted using my Samsung Galaxy SIII. Please do forgive any typographical errors.

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6 thoughts on “Always So Short Lived

  1. Hang in there Lara. I’ll pray for u. I know what its like to be in a situation where it seems there is no way out but you are still so young-this is just a season in your life and keep day dreaming – don’t ever stop coz those day dreams will give you that motivation and drive to keep puushing on and one day IT WILL happen you for you. As for the boyfie, well F**K him! Dust it off and dont look back. the right guys is out ther and will come in his own time. Dont rush it, dont force it. Just learn from it and it will make you a better person for Mr. Right.

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